Tragedy. (A rare second personal update)

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I’m generally a very private person.  I have very few friends who I talk about my feelings with.  I rarely post personal things on my blog.

But I think I owe it to those of you who have been loyal readers and friends.  I am going through a rough time right now and you’ll likely notice a slight lack of postings in the near future.  I’ll continue the low entry giveaways postings, and I’ll fulfill my current commitments, but it will be several weeks until I begin taking on new projects again.

I have spent the past 3 days driving my two boys out to Utah so that I could attend EVO Conference in Park City and so that the boys and I could spend time with my husband’s family here in Utah.  On the last day of my drive (yesterday evening) my husband called to tell me that my mom had passed away suddenly at her home in California. She was just 53.

My mom has had health problems for the past several years, but we didn’t think any of them were life threatening.  Because she’s had chronic pain for so long she’s also struggled with chronic depression.  Just last week my family all gathered for my sister’s wedding in San Diego.  My mom seemed so much better and so much happier than I had seen here in years.  She was still in obvious pain, but she seemed more at peace with herself than I have seen her in a long time.

I wasn’t able to take my boys out to the wedding.  We just couldn’t afford the plane tickets.  I still haven’t told the boys about their “Grama Shell”.  I’m trying to figure out how to tell them.

Last summer we drove down to stay with my mom for a month and help her out while The Husband was at officer’s training for the Air Force.  They formed a wonderful bond with her. They’ve only seen her once since then, but they still talk about her all the time.

I am so grateful for the time I spent with my mom last weekend.  To have our family mostly together so soon before her unexpected passing is such a blessing.

Because my husband is a wonderfully sensitive man he waited until this morning to break the other bad news to me.

Yesterday, while he was at work our house was broken into and robbed.  Not something you ever hope will happen, and certainly a headache to deal with.

But if there is a bright side to the break in, it came at a time when our minds and hearts were in a place to recognize that it was just a loss of “stuff”.

My mother, on the other hand, while she is undoubtedly much more at peace and free of the pain she was in, will be greatly missed by all her children, grandchildren, and everyone else who’s life she touched.



About Amy @ Oh So Savvy Mom

Amy is mom to three, wife to one, and a sister and aunt to many. Her family is a former military family now settled in Lehi, Utah. Oh So Savvy Mom began as a way for Amy to share parenting and product advice with others. Just as she has evolved, Oh So Savvy Mom has evolved into a resource for Healthy Living for Families, Food, Parenting, and Family Travel.


  1. Oh, Amy ... I posted on your facebook wall before I finished the whole post. I am so, so sorry!! I don't know what I can do - but if there is anything at all, please let me know.
  2. I am so sorry to hear about your mom, and hope you're doing okay. We completely understand, and know if you need anything, you have a huge support system. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it, and big hugs to you and your family.
  3. Amy, So sorry to hear about your loss. Our thoughts are with you and your family.
  4. Aww, I am so very sorry to hear this. My heart is broken for you. I lost my own mom almost six years to a drunk driver, and it was not an easy time. I feel for you. Know that there are people out there thinking about you and empathizing with your situation. Big, big hugs. ♥
  5. Amy, I'm so sorry to hear this news. I'll be thinking of you and your family during this difficult time. Please let me know how I can help you out in any way. XOXOX
  6. I'm so so sorry Amy.Is there anything I can do/we can do? Praying the LORD's comfort, strength and encouragement to surround you and your precious family at this time. I'm so sorry about your home too. Praying for you. ((Hugs))
  7. I am so sorry. I am thankful that I haven't had a lot of personal loss close to me - I can only imagine the loss you feel with your mom and how hard it is to tell your children. I pray that God will give you the words and the strength when you need them. Our house was broken into a little over a year ago. That alone is a huge range of emotions to deal with - especially with the kids. We are not the same, but the fears and worries there do slowly get better too. Many friends are holding you up through hugs and prayers!
  8. Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 22:19 But you, O LORD, be not far off; O my Strength, come quickly to help me. Very sorry for your loss. It was devastating when I lost my mom. May God bless you all and comfort you all..hugs to you :o(
  9. Michelle says
    Amy, sorry to hear of the sad news. I am glad to know that you know your mom is in a better place and no longer in pain, but it still hurts to have lost a loved one so close you to. I hope you find peace in the days to come and that your boys will understand in their sweet way.
  10. Oh how horrible. But at the same time, I am happy that you have peace knowing your mom is pain free and in Heaven now. I'm so sorry for your loss! Thanks for sharing - it does help us readers get to know you a bit better! And I hope those dumb robbers get caught - and you get everything pack plus much more! You will be in my prayers!
  11. I am so sorry for your loss and your heartache. Our mommies are so precious and we will always need them. Hugs and prayers.
  12. Melinda T says
    Sorry to hear about your mom and your house getting broken into. I'll be praying for you and your family.
  13. mickelle says
    Amy, we send our love and prayers to you and your siblings. She raised a delightful family, and I'm sure she was very, very proud of you. Love, Mickelle
  14. Juli Guthrie says
    I am so sorry. This breaks my heart, and if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't worry about your blog (however I would miss it if you took time off) and your readers will understand. Thoughts and prayers.
  15. I am very sorry to hear this news. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I'm very, very sorry.
  16. Hugs and prayers from us.
  17. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother, especially at such a young age. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers during this time.
  18. Oh my goodness, how awful! So sorry for all that you're going through! That is so, so hard! Prayers for the upcoming days & weeks!
  19. Tami Valentine says
    Amy, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay strong, your family needs you. Please know that we're all thinking about you and your family at this very very difficult time.
  20. Amy, I am so terribly sorry. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
  21. Amy I am so, so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.
  22. Kristin S says
    So sorry to hear this! You are in my prayers:)
  23. You do so much for us readers! We appreciate you beyond your blog! Prayers from Washington DC to you and your family during this time of healing!!!!
  24. I'm so sorry for your loss.. sending prayers your way.
  25. So sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I know it can difficult to explain these things to kids. We recently lost our family pet (please understand I'm not comparing that to the loss of a family member) and even telling that to a two year old was difficult. My thoughts are with you.
  26. D Schmidt says
    I am so very sorry for you loss.
  27. Mary Beth Elderton says
    Oh, no. I am so sorry. This is almost too many things at once. Please take care of yourself and your family. Know that you have a lot of people, some of us having experienced this kind of tragedy, who are wishing you peace.
  28. Laura Jacobson says
    Oh I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. I wish so much that I had some magical words to help ease your pain, but I know there are none. My thoughts and prayers will be with your family during this so very hard time!
  29. Courtney Tucker says
    I'm so sorry! :(
  30. alicia zirjacks says
    I am sorry for your loss. I lost my mom last year, she was only 56. It is hard and I will be praying for you to find peace and comfort during this time.
  31. My heart goes out to you! I've lost both of my parents. With my dad, it was such an unexpected shock. Years later, my mom's house burned down. Gone were all of the wooden things my dad had built, family keepsakes, etc. Like you said, though, these are just things. No one can take away our precious memories. Praying that God will comfort you with the comfort that only He can give.
  32. Just want to let you know I am thinking of you and thinking of your family as well. I lost my father to cancer when he was 50 back in 2008, and that was extremely hard for me. I still struggle with the thought of losing him. You never know how hard it is until it happens to you, and to hear those words are so hard. I wish I had words to make it better for you, and I just want you to know how sorry I am for you guys.
  33. Jessica A says
    My sincerest sympathies, take care.
  34. My thoughts are with you and your family. I am so sorry to hear of this- take your time- the internet will be here when you return...
  35. Sending hugs and prayers your way!!
  36. Mary Dailey says
    Oh, I'm so sorry. You are one of my favorite bloggers. I had no idea, as it seemed pretty normal. Please know that I am praying for you, your family and God will let you know the best time to tell your children. Thank goodness you were able to spend a good while with her.
  37. I am Praying for you and your family and sending hugs I have not lost my mom so I can not imagine what you are facing but I can say I have lost my daughter and that was so hard so I am sure this must be too. I am also sorry about the house and your things being taken.
  38. I am so sorry Amy. Lots of prayers for you and your family. I hope you find a bit of comfort in knowing we are all supporting you. Take care. Ps when my grandma passed, we used books to help us tell the children 2, 4)
  39. my heart goes out to you and your family at this time ill pray for your strength
  40. Accepting the loss of a parent is always emotionall9 distressing, no matter how old we are. We always remain 'kids' to them, and its nice to be kids. My deepest condolences and sympathies are with you and your family. May god give you strength. Hope you haven't lost much in the robbery. -Anu
  41. spellchk above * emotionallY
  42. Oh Amy. I am so sorry for your loss. What an absolute tragedy for certain. Small blessings that you were able to see her so happy just last week, and that your sons were able to spend such a long time with her. I hope you are able to find peace soon in your memories. You and your family will continue to be in my prayers!
  43. Sounds like you've been going through a lot. I'm so sorry for your loss. I've said a prayer for you.
  44. Jeanette says
    I am so very sorry for your loss (and the added robbery headache that was added to it. I know its easier for me to say from the outside, but try to make it this time a celebration of your Mother's life by talking about the great memories you all shared as a family. If you find it difficult to share openly, write it down and post it to a private blog/journal.
  45. I am so sorry, sweetie. I know it's so very hard to lose a parent and to have to tell your children just breaks my heart. I am glad that you have those wonderful last memories of your mom, and when the pain lessens you will look back and smile about those. Take a break to grieve and heal and we will be here for you whenever you are ready. Sending hugs and prayers
  46. I am so sorry for all that you are enduring right now. About 6 mos. Ago my dad passed away suddenly at 58. It has been a hard time. I wasn't prepared for how hard daily living became. If you need anything (even to talk), just send me a message.
  47. Monja Blue says
    How very special the time is that your boys spent with your mom! There are no words for your loss. Know that you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
  48. Amy - I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother! What a terrible tragedy. I know your boys will cherish the time they spent with her and know it was a special time. My throughts and prayers are with you and your family as you go through this difficult time of loss.
  49. Dianna Thomas says
    I m so sorry for your loss of your mom--my heart breaks for you--Peace be with you and prayers are sent
  50. Stephanie H says
    I am sorry, boy it does seam like trials come in multiples. I hope that they catch the robbers. I live in chronic pain, and deal with depression. Death is one thing I look forward to with peace knowing that I will not hurt anymore. While death is hard on family members. For some one that has suffered greatly in life, death is to be looked upon as a blessing.Best of wishes to you and your family.
    • I know my mom felt this way. I'm sorry that you have to live in chronic pain and deal with depression. That makes me very sad. I hope that there is somewhere you will find help or solace.
  51. Talk about being kicked when you're down (the robbery). My condolences on the loss of your mother. Death is such a bitter experience. I am sorry. I hope the robbers experience a strong dose of karma real soon.
    • Well, the karma will come around sooner or later. As for my mother, I find that each day gets a little easier. The most difficult thing at this point is thinking about how my siblings are feeling the loss. Thank you so much for your kind words and condolences.
  52. Erika P. says
    Praying for you and your family as you go through this difficult time.
  53. Sharolyn Thayer says
    Amy, Paul told me about your sad news Monday night when I arrived at Canada. My heart sunk! I'm so, so sorry for all that you and Steve are going through. I told the kids at bedtime that same night and we are all praying for you. I wish you all the best this coming week as you travel to California and am glad that Steve will be able to join you and the boys. Paul said they had a great time together this morning. So glad they've had that time together as brothers this past year. Love and prayers, Shar & Family
  54. Kelly Nicholson says
    i hope you get through this..peace
  55. Oh Amy, I'm so very sorry for your loss! I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. ((HUGZ!!))