I’ve seen this a lot as I’ve delved deeper into the world of mom bloggers. Occasionally, breastfeeding “advocates” are the worst. Moms who are trying to spread the word about the amazing benefits that breastfeeding has for both mom and child can come across to those who don’t breastfeed, or who have tried unsuccessfully, as insensitive, presumptuous, and narrow-minded. Before I explain why I feel that way let me first say that I am an advocate of breastfeeding. I think that a woman who can breastfeed her child is blessing herself and her baby.
The following is the story of a mother’s struggle to nourish her children…that woman is me.
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When the topic of breastfeeding is brought up by blogging moms I often feel left out or like I didn’t do enough or do the right things. I had a very difficult time breastfeeding with both our boys. Our first baby had latch problems and food allergies–I didn’t know about the food allergies at the time. As far as the latch problems went the lactation specialists couldn’t seem to find anything wrong/help with my son’s latch (I was blistered and bleeding). He would suck for about 3 minutes and then pull off, screaming and arching his back. After similar experiences with my second I realize that this was due to food sensitivities. This would go on for hours and on several occasions it went on for days. I was constantly in pain from blocked ducts because the baby wouldn’t nurse for very long. After 10 weeks I couldn’t handle it anymore, the baby was so thin, I hurt all the time, and I was in tears every day. I started pumping full time…with a single (albeit electric) pump. It was torture.
I was more prepared with my second. I had appointments to see the lactation consultant right after he was born, but to no avail. Nursing was excruciating, baby was always fussy. The LC said it sounded like I had thrush but the Ped. said it couldn’t be thrush because the baby didn’t have white spots in his mouth. (After talking with my sister who had thrush with her recent baby I am now convinced that I did indeed have thrush.) Baby 2 also had/has a lot of food sensitivities, had reflux that we had to medicate, and was extremely fussy. When he nursed he did the same back arching and screaming that Big Brother did. He’d be happy for 5-10 minutes after feeding, then he’d scream until it was naptime. He went on nursing strikes every few days and wouldn’t eat for 4-6 hours at a time. When he did eat he only ate a little. Blocked ducts again…all the time.
I knew the symptoms of food sensitivities this time around–the eczema spreading on his face was a dead giveaway–so I began eliminating certain foods from my diet. I eliminated dairy, soy, nuts, tomatoes, and citrus. He was still fussy, though not to the same degree, and now he had eczema all over. On top of all this, I am a thin person and a picky eater. Though I tried to find things I could eat, I was losing weight fast. When Little Brother was 3.5 months old we decided it would be better for his health and my sanity to switch him to a hypoallergenic formula. That said, I did continue pumping full-time for another few weeks so baby could have one breastmilk bottle a day (that was all his tummy could handle) for a little while longer. Our lives–and our baby–did a 180. Our baby’s reflux was gone! He was happy and playful! The Husband and I breathed a great sigh of relief. We bonded with our child in a way that simply wasn’t possible before.
I am an advocate of breastfeeding, but sometimes the obstacles are nearly insurmountable. I think this is why some babies just failed to thrive before modern medicine and formula. I don’t agree with hospitals pushing new moms to give their babies formula, but formula can be a saving grace for babies and mothers who simply can’t breastfeed. I know that this is a very controversial topic, and some moms may shake their heads as they read this, but those moms have likely not been in the shoes of someone with my experiences.
Sometimes in the written world the things we type can come across as very brash, even when we don’t mean them to be. I hope we can all just keep in mind that people often have good reason for the choices they make. It would serve everyone well to be sensitive to and respectful of those decisions.
About Amy @ Oh So Savvy Mom
PS: I don't understand how mothers can be so cruel to each other, what happened to be a supportive community?!
sorry that you had to go through that, i have thinkfully had no isses with breastfeeding, the most i can complain about is that my son will not take a bottle or paci... and thats not a complaint.
Its so true that we need to support one another!
I am a breastfeeding advocate and I truly believe most people who don't breastfeed could if they had the proper support and help, I do recognize there are those who can't.
The main thing is though that you TRIED. Hard. YOu accepted help from professionals, you struggled for weeks trying to improve and you didn't just give up in 1 or 2 weeks. Formula works better for you and your babies and that's fine. You didn't fail and its wrong for others to say you did.
I had not heard of that poorly done study. Terrible.
Gooooooooo formula babies. Were not all that bad.
Cheers to all you mommas
I would never apologize for giving a true account for MY experience and I don't think you have to either. It's not all beautiful and it's hard. That's the reality.
KUDOS*